The Line Between Reality and Fantasy
by Lashana Inferno
Summary: AuthorMuse Fics. Welcome to the Line Between Reality and Fantasy, where Lashana and Telca go to forget their worries and mingle with their Characters and Muses. Chapter 2 up! Telca joins the Insanity!
1. It begins

Loooong disclaimer : Lashana and Telca own only themselves and the Line Between Reality and Fantasy. Lashana holds claim over Tvashtar, Kadrith, Shakarei, her original Characters from 'Darkness & Light', 'Kelvita', 'Destined Meetings', 'Darkside of the Moon' and 'Sins of the Father'. All the others belong to someone else.

This is an Author ficcie, which means that it is in no way related to any Harem timeline thus far. It's all in Lashana's POV.

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The Line Between Reality and Fantasy

I stared at the little blinking cursor in an almost morbid fashion, my white hair blown into my face by a particularly strong gust of wind through my open bedroom windows. It seemed that WordPad had just as much motivation as I did lately, granted, I never really expected that staring at the computer screen would magically conjure up a fic.

Doesn't mean I didn't try though.

Groaning in mixed exasperation and defeat, I lowered my forehead to the keyboard and closed my eyes as I proceeded to bang my head against the hard plastic. It had been over a month since I had had a decent fic idea, and even longer since my Muses had visited. I was not a happy Author. For one thing, I now had a headache.

Rubbing at the key imprints on my forehead, I rose my head and blinked at the jumble of babble that my repeated banging had put onto the screen, wondering if maybe in my fit of self-punishment I had unknowingly slammed out a snippet of something.

Alright, so maybe I had been staring at the computer for too long. Can you blame me?

Giving up on any hopes of writing, I closed WordPad and went to take a quick look online, sighing when I saw that my numerous email accounts didn't hold a single new email, and that there was nothing new posted on my favourite web pages to spelunk on.

Well, Lashana, I told myself as I shut the computer down and migrated to the livingroom, tugging the drapes shut to block out the still bright sun before throwing myself on the couch and then scowling when a quick scan of the TV channels didn't award me with anything. _You've certainly hit a new low. It's seven o'clock on a Friday night and you're already thinking about going to bed in the hopes that sleep will kill the boredom. You suck, girl._

Of course, that faint hope all depended on _if _I managed to fall asleep. Hadn't been having too much luck in that department lately either. Le sigh. 

Grumbling at the lack of anything interesting on TV - over sixty stations and nothing good on! - I exchanged the TV remote for the stereo remote, stretching out on the couch as I thumbed a button and let Evanescence's _'Bring Me to Life'_ fill the oppressive silence of the room.

Where did this leave me? Friday evening, bored out of my skull, Telca was stuck babysitting her evil sister's brats, and Pedrith was somewhere in the far reaches of Kingston. Really, there was no one else to call. And I hadn't yet reached the level of desperation that would make me call my parents. Nooo. 

Thus, I flung my right arm over my eyes and studied the backs of my eyelids, my top lip curling a little in anger when a scream and a thump emanated from my upstairs neighbours. Apartments sucked. They sucked big time. 

My pen for a house! Onward, Silver! Away!

Hmm. That was new. And weird. It was official. My mind had broken under the strain. So there I lay, giggling to myself in the semi-darkness of the livingroom while music blared in the background. I suppose that it wasn't that large of a surprise that I didn't notice him until he poked me in the ribs with a talon. Although it was rare that I didn't 'feel' my Muses when they popped up.

Needless to say, the unexpected poke - and the fact that they had aimed right at a ticklish spot - brought about.... interesting results.

Shrieking in both surprise and anger at being tickled, I lunged to my feet on the couch and crab-crawled my way up until I was precariously perched on the back of it, plastered against the wall as I loosed another screech and lobbed the remote in the direction of my would-be attacker as he/she/it turned in my direction, eyes glowing in the dimness of the room.

"_Elf!_ By the Pit! Would you _stop that?!_"

I paused in mid scream and blinked. I _knew_ that voice. "Dinobot?"

The Beast-Moded transformer Muse folded his raptorial arms over his chest, one taloned claw holding the remote I had thrown as him as glared at me in the fashion that only he could manage. "Who else?"

I blinked again. He had just shown up one night as I belted out the oddity known as '_All this for a Clone?!'_, accusing me of not keeping up with the timeline. When I was writing, he was like a slave-driver, always nitpicking on details that I either didn't need to know or didn't _want_ to know. It was rare that I ever saw him during the times where I wasn't writing. Once he had popped up during a bought of Writer's Block to try to goad/piss me off enough that an idea came to mind. Do notice that I said 'once'. After he had witnessed one of my more homicidal moods, he had quickly learned _not_ to try his version of 'pep-talks' with me _ever_ again.

But this was new. Very new. I didn't like new.

In the end, after much more blinking and sortage of muddled reactions, I settled on the tried, tested and true method of 'pissed'.

"You piece of slag!" I found that using tidbits of the transformers lingo usually helped me in dealing with him when he got on my nerves. Japanese was also useful. He had learned a great deal of it from the other characters. "Gods be damned, _don't scare me like that!_"

My scream obviously hit an octave that he didn't like, because he actually winced. "I--"

"And another thing!" I yelled, now fully into the ranting as I climbed down off my couch and advanced on him. "Where the hell do you get off just showing up out of nowhere?! It's not like you or the others have been a big help lately, leaving me to delve into the ever so lovely emotion of depression all by m'self! I swear, if you're here to yell at me at the lack of ficcage, buster, I so promise that I will personally rip you apart and hire someone, _anyone_, to turn you into an indoor grill!"

Obviously not phased by little old me - after all, his robot form was more than capable of ripping _me_ apart than the other way around - he rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation, a sickle claw tapping the hardwood floor as he met my gaze and held the remote out to me. "Are you finished?"

Growling, I snatched the remote away from him. "Maybe," I grumbled as I lowered the volume of my stereo system and went over to turn on the lamp, bathing the room in a warm glow. Folding my arms over my chest, I quirked an eyebrow at him and leaned against the arm of the couch, relieved at least, to see that he was keeping distance from my plants. The last time his swaying tail had knocked over one of my African Violets, I had forced him to go and get me a new one, much to his dismay and the S.W.A.T. Team's horror. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I've come to fetch you," he rumbled out, giving me a hard look when I opened my mouth to comment on that. "If you even _think_ about comparing me to a dog...."

"That'd be insulting the dog, wouldn't it?" _Hehe._

The glare that he sent at me made it quite obvious at that if he hadn't needed me in order to ensure his continued survival as one of my Muses, he'd have killed me without any misgivings. 

I simply smiled. "You look constipated."

"You are the most infuriating fleshling that I had ever had the misfortune to meet!"

"I love you too. Now get with the explanation O' Snarly One before I get the urge to go through all the MP3s on my computer and find that Britney Spears song that you love so dearly." 

He shuddered and relented. Smart raptor. "The others and I must bring something to your attention. It's one of the reasons for the lack of fanfiction ideas you've been having as of late, as well as our continued absence."

That caught my attention. I did a rapid moodswing from annoyed to worried in half a millisecond. "What's wrong? What happened? Are you guys okay?" I rambled off another fifteen or so questions before Dinobot stalked forward and slapped a claw over my mouth, effectively shutting me up.

"We do not have time for this nonsense, Author! Now either agree to come with me or return to your solitude!" He paused for a moment, obviously expecting an answer, then growled. "Well?"

I rolled my eyes and whapped him upside the head with a pillow that I had managed to grab off the couch, effectively freeing myself from his grasp. "I can't bloody well answer you if you won't let me talk, baka raptor."

He gave me a look that would have had most of my Muses running for the hills and grumbled out something that was probably very uncomplimentary. But at least he was smart enough to mumble soft enough that I couldn't hear him.

I giggled. "You sound like a rusty outboard motor." Completely ignoring the fact that he had dropped into that 'I'm about to leap at you and rip out your throat' stance that all raptors were good at, I stepped around him and turned off the stereo, smacking his lashing tail out of my way as I headed for my bedroom. "Just give me a second to get changed and we can go. I'm not gonna go anywhere wearing my grunge." _Especially since these jogging pants are starting to tear in all the wrong places._

By the time I emerged from my room, he had managed to achieve something more or less related to 'calm'. Perhaps calling it 'non-homicidal' would be better. Either way, he turned in my direction when he heard the door open and blinked. I frowned in return and glanced down at myself. "What?" Okay, so maybe the outfit of black jeans torn at the knees and thighs along with a grey tank-top that read 'Death' in sparkly blood red letters with a bloody knife as an exclamation point was pushing it. But hey, it was clean, that's all I cared. 

Deciding that he was just being odd, I hopped into my sneakers and grabbed a hair-clip, pausing to pin my hair up into a somewhat stylish mess before slipping my black sunglasses on. "Let's motor!"

Dinobot blinked at me again, then did an odd combination of a sigh and a shrug before he walked over to me and grabbed my left arm. "Brace yourself. There will be some turbulence."

Before I could grill him on _how much_ turbulence there was going to be, the world around me tilted, whirled and bottomed out. I was certain that I felt my stomach shoot upwards into the vicinity of my sinuses. I would have tried to scream had I not been afraid that my heart would take that opportunity to escape my poor abused fleshling form. Instead, I settled for making a sort of close-mouthed wailing moan, something akin to a howler monkey being sat on by an elephant.

It was like one of those rollarcoasters where the ride goes to the tip top of a fifty story tower, then shoots back towards the ground at Mach Five. By the time we reached what I could only guess was level, unmoving ground, I was clinging to Dinobot for dear life, hanging off of him like a demented burr that had attached itself to his hide.

Obviously aware that the trip hadn't been good for me, he didn't protest, choosing instead to watch me as I oozed down his side and crumpled bonelessly to the ground. Clamping one hand over my mouth, I proceeded to thump my free fist against my chest, trying to goad my heart into realising that it really should be beating as my mind slowly recovered from the Ride From Hell.

After a few minutes, I managed to string together a partially coherent sentence. Which, given the present situation, was a miracle in itself. "Wh.... wha wh's that?"

"Sorry." And it sounded like he actually _meant_ it. "I don't think an Author has ever been brought here before."

My mind did an odd sort of thing like a car engine trying to turn over before that made sense. "Where's 'here'?"

"I believe you call it 'Erasing the Line Between Reality and Fantasy'." He paused and looked down at me where I was slumped next to his right leg. "Trust you and Telca to come up with a name like that."

"Erasing the Line Between.... Oh. _Oh my Gods!_" Faced with this new knowledge, I lunged to my feet and wobbled unsteadily before him, dipping my shades lower on my nose to stare at him in mixed shock and hysterical glee. "You mean--?!"

He nodded, amusement showing through his cold exterior. "This is the world you and Telca have created."

"_WHAT?!_"

I paused.

I grinned.

I loosed a short shriek of hyper joy, then blinked, suddenly aware that my surroundings were rather bleak. Actually, there were no surroundings. Just blackness. I was reminded of that scene in _'The Neverending Story'_. "Waaaait.... Why does it look like this?"

"It has _always_ looked like this. When your Muses and characters are not being used in fics and stories, or helping you write, we retire here."

My eyes widened in horror as I spun in a complete circle, staring at the darkness that surrounded us. "I did this?!"

"No! No.... This is no fault of yours. Well, not the creation of it. The lack of upkeeping, perhaps."

"'Upkeeping'?"

"You're the Author. We're your Muses and creations. This place is specifically for _your_ Muses and characters. It's your job to upkeep it."

"My _job?_"

"You've been wondering why you've had Writer's Block for the past month, yes?" When I nodded, he gestured to the blackness and snorted. "What Muse in their right mind would return to _this_ place? Without Muses, there's no creativity."

And that was the two clicks that made the clue. "Oh. _Oh, crap!_ But I didn't know! I really didn't! Oh shit, oh crap, oh hell! Does this mean they're gone for good?! I don't wanna be left just with you! Er.... no offence...."

He glared at me, but didn't comment. "That is why you have been brought here."

"What the hell can I do?!"

An exasperated sigh left him as he rolled his eyes. "By the Pit you really are daft! You're the _Author_, slaggit! This is the world _you_ created! You can alter it however you see fit!"

"Oh." I paused. "How?" There was a mumble from the raptor. "What?"

"I said 'I don't know'," he snarled. "You're the Author. You're supposed to know these things."

"Oh, of course," I remarked, sarcasm practically dripping from my voice. I had encountered this at Work too. It was one of those situations where despite the fact that no one had bothered to tell me how to do something, it was still my fault that they hadn't bothered to give me the procedure. Gah.

So now I was faced with a dilemma. Okay, so this was the world that Telca and I had created. I could handle that. My Muses and characters stayed here when they weren't in fics. I could handle that too. The fact that it was now upon my shoulders to turn this place into something liveable.... weeeeeell, that I couldn't handle very well. Mostly because I had no frakkin' clue on how I was supposed to accomplish the job that had been placed before me.

Then another thought hit me.

"Wait a slaggin' minute!" Eyes narrowed, I rounded on Dinobot and jabbed my right finger nail against his chest, completely ignoring the fact that I was now bullying a velociraptor. "Why the hell am I only learning about this _now?!_ I've been writing for almost two years! What the hell took you so long?!"

A definite look of embarrassment spread over his face. "It.... um.... didntoccurtoustoaskforhelp."

I blinked, my mind processing the hasty mumble and converting it into something coherent. The result gobsmacked me. "It didn't occur to you?! It didn't occur to _you?!_ _You_, the master of nitpicking and of battle schemes and war tactics, didn't put two clicks together to make a clue until _now?!_"

He smirked. "Perhaps some of your scatter-brained qualities have passed on to me."

Ooo! That means war! "Just you wait," I shot back as I turned, chose a random direction and stomped into the darkness. "The second I figure out how to change this reality around you're gonna find yourself in a neon pink tutu doing ballet while singing '_Somewhere Over the Rainbow_'!"

Of course, we all know that the moment I think something's going my way, Fate has to toss an anvil at my head. 

"Sorry to disappoint you." Funny, he didn't _sound_ sorry. "But you can only affect the dimension, _not_ your Muses."

I glared at nothing in particular and grumbled out a nice imitation of Yo-Samity Sam from the 'Looney Tunes'. "Fricken' frakin' frukin' pain in tha arse varmit...." As usual, inspiration struck at the oddest times, making me stop dead in my tracks as I grinned. "That's it!"

Dinobot, who had been following me from a distance, looked at me as if I'd grown another head and named it 'George'. "Pardon?"

"You! Go back to my apartment and bring me my notebook and pen!"

"What do I look like?! Your servant?!"

"I thought you wanted me to help you!"

"I do!"

"_Then why are you still here?!_" 

My shriek was still echoing around me when he returned two minutes later, and I wasted no time in snatching the spiral notebook and pen from him, taking the cap off with my teeth and chewing on it thoughtfully as I opened the book to a fresh page.

Recovered, or perhaps just insanely curious, Dinobot edged closer to me and peered over my shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"What I do best," I beamed. "I'm gonna write. Now, knowing m'self, there's probably an entire army of characters and Muses wanderin' around here, so we'd need something big. But it'd have to be somewhere nice.... somewhere where people could relax.... And where they wouldn't have to constantly be trapped with each other, because I know they'd kill each other...." Ideas whirled through my head as I thunked down on the ground, sitting lotus style as I started to write, actually letting Dinobot read over my shoulder as I did so. Usually I _loathed_ having people read over my shoulder, but I guess it's different with Muses.

Well, that and his left sickle claw was _really_ close to my knee....

"Alright. Need somewhere spacious, not a forest, too many bugs and some of the guys would probably destroy it...." I sent a pointed look at Dinobot, who avoided my gaze. "Spacious and relaxing and nice.... Ooo! An island! A _big_ one! Just off the Caribbean Islands! Like one of the ones in Bora Bora!" My pen scratched over the paper as I grinned excitedly, squealing in joy when an island just _BAM!_ ....appeared. I was now sitting on the white sands near a gorgeous clear blue ocean while palm trees and lush plants framed the cove's beach.

Very close to giggling in hysterical glee, I hopped to my feet and clutched the book and pen to my chest, fairly skipping as I inhaled a breath of the salty air, the sounds of waves caressing the shoreline music to my ears as I stared at the thing that _I_ had created.

Fairly trembling, I turned to face towards the centre of the island and scribbled a quick change down onto my notepad, watching as a path appeared in the sands, the ground gently pushing trees and plants to the side as it formed a beautiful terra cotta walkway that was framed by arching palm trees and large pots containing tropical flowers.

Dinobot's jaw looked like it was about to touch the ground.

"C'mon!" Giving up on restraining myself, I ran back to grab his arm and dragged him along as I ran down the newly constructed pathway, my smile widening as I took notice of a few ponds that held brightly coloured fish. A peacock strutted along the pathway to my right, seemingly interesting in we newcomers.

By the time we reached the end of the path and climbed the stairs that finished it, Dinobot had wrenched himself free of me and had taken up the lead, though I seriously doubted that we were in danger of anything except a sunburn. 

A quick look around the landscape that presented itself to me and I knew _exactly_ what to do. I used Dinobot's back as a table as I quickly wrote down a few paragraphs, pausing only to smack the raptor to keep him from moving and messing up what I was planning. When I was done, I stepped past him and rose my arms to the sky, grinning like a lunatic as I screamed out. "Three.... two.... one.... _HOUSE!!!_"

And just like that, a Villa that would have cost upwards of 'it-costs-HOW-MUCH?!' fell from the sky and landed right in front of me with an earthquake worthy 'THUD'.

I left a gaping Dinobot outside as I ran inside, my sneakers making little sound on the gorgeous hard wood floor when I skidded to a stop and stared in awe. 

I was standing in the middle of the 'lobby' of the building. To my left was an open archway that led to what seemed to be a courtyard, blocked from view of the pathway by tall stone walls that were covered in what seemed to be thick curtains of ivy's and flowers. To my right was another archway, though this one led into another section of the building. A bar, of all things. 

My curiosity took over then, and I silently made my way into the large bar-like setting, a smile spreading over my lips when I discovered that it not only housed the large bar, along with required tables, stools and whatnot, but three pool tables, two dart boards, a row of arcade games and four poker tables. A jukebox glittered to my right where it stood against the wall near the bar, and I took a moment to study it before my gaze was drawn to the huge bay windows that lined the entire wall to my left.

Or more accurately - where the windows _should_ have been.

Instead, I found myself staring out onto a large deck that looked out over the palm trees and thus gave a breath-taking panoramic view of the ocean. More tables were set up out on the deck with bright sun-umbrella, and there were also numerous lawn chairs that lined one part of the deck. The beams that gave the impression that windows had once been there were decorated with seashells and strings of lights, and I was aching to see this place at night when it was all lit up.

A low growl of amazement drew my gaze back to Dinobot as he joined me, and I merely grinned at him in mindless joy. "Let's go look at the rest of the place."

As it turned out, calling the Villa 'huge' was an understatement. Somewhat akin to calling a Blue Whale 'big'

The first floor held the bar, the huge lobby, an enormous living room, _three_ full bathrooms - complete with Jacuzzis - a gym and a kitchen that was twice as big as my entire apartment. The hallway that led from the far end of the lobby led out into the backyard. More palm trees and plants lined the walkway that curled around an inground pool half the size of a football field. More patio sets were set up in various places around it, and I spotted a huge brick barbeque near the open archway that led directly into the kitchen. 

Upstairs opened up into a spacious intersection of the hallway, the walls lined with indoor plants and a few relaxation fountains. Straight ahead from the top of the stairs was another courtyard that looked out over the other side of the island. To the left and right were a total of six bedrooms, each one rivalling the size of a normal living room. As well, there were another three bathrooms, and if one took the direct route across the courtyard, they would enter a room completely separate from the rest of the house. A Library was housed there, complete with tables and chairs to lounge in. 

My eyes were about to roll out of my head by the time I staggered out of the Library and went to lean on the railing that framed the open space that overlooked the lobby, an insanely stupid grin plastered on my face. 

Dinobot joined me a moment later, visibly still trying to absorb what I had created. "Y-you.... I never thought you'd create _this!_"

"Isn't it _great?_" I beamed, certain that my smile was about to reach my ears. "I just gotta write up the separate living quarters for the Muses and Characters and I'm done!"

Forgoing my earlier attempts to seem sane, I gleefully slid down the banister, giggling as I dismounted and bolted for the back door, making my way past the pool/small lake to the sandy path that led into the lush jungle behind the Villa. Numerous bird calls greeted my entrance into the greenness, and I grinned in response as I followed the path until it broke off into at least a dozen different directions.

Not having the patience to follow each and every path, I merely whipped out my trusty book and wrote down what I wanted, and where I wanted it. After that, I merely chose a path at random and followed it's winding self to a small clearing of ferns, delighted when I gazed at a large hut. _Eee! It worked!_

Giggling, I darted inside and looked around, nodding in satisfaction at the large bedroom with connecting bathroom, spacious living room that overlooked the jungle and the medium kitchen.

A loud yell drew my attention then, and I stuck my head out of the front door to scream out a response, turning my attention back to the interior of the hut as rapid footsteps came my way.

"By the Pit! This place is immense!" Dinobot announced as he entered the hut, his gaze roving over the furniture and kitchen. 

"Mm. The island isn't that huge widthwise, but it's at least five miles lengthwise, lotsa room. Back at the path, if we had gone straight, it would have led out onto the beach on the other side of the island. There's another snack bar out there along with a few wicker chairs and three changing huts. To the uh...." I glanced around the hut as if to get my bearings, then pointed right. "That way is the docks with seadoos and a few boats and in the other direction is another set of docks, except those are strictly for fishing and the like. All I have to do is make little living spaces for Telca and I when we visit - because we will be visiting and you can't stop us - and I'm done."

Ten minutes later, I had created two identical huts. Now, you'd think that wouldn't be such a big deal, hmm? Well, you'd be _wrong!_ Bwaha. 

I was standing at the beginning of a dock that stretched a good fifteen meters out into the ocean. At the end of said dock sat my own personal hut. Resting on a latticework of stilts that keep it a good six feet above water, my new home away from Reality was gorgeous. I knew for a fact that it's living room and bedroom had a panoramic view of the ocean that stretched out for miles, and the knowledge that this was _mine_ was just wonderful. Telca's identical hut sat a half-mile down the beach to my left, ensuring that we both got good real estate while not giving up our personal space, something that was very important to both of us.

It was enough to make an honest Author squeal with glee.

Of course, I was hardly honest, but I did it anyway.

~*~

I took my time as I made my way back to the Villa, absorbing the sights and sounds of the island as I walked along the sandy pathway. The large building loomed before me then, it's off-white, almost marble-looking walls gleaming slightly under the caress of the sun. On an urge, I wrote down a few alterations, then nodded in satisfaction when the hardwood floors of the Villa's main floor changed to beautiful terra cotta tiles.

Not entirely sure where Dinobot went, I made my way back to the Bar, intent on tweaking a few things. As I helped myself to a root beer from the fridge behind the long bar, I let my gaze travel across the large room, eyeing possible problem spots as I rewrote a few details in my notebook. On a whim, I added a stereo system, mounting numerous speakers around the room while the controls stayed behind the bar, safely ensconced under it amongst the bottles of alcohol.

As a final touch, because I knew I'd be dealing with a lot of males, I added in a big screen plasma TV, the state of the art television only five inches thick where it hung high up on the far wall to the right of the entrance. _There. That should do it. Oh, an I'll just add a few strings of multicoloured lantern lights here and there, a few more on the deck, add a few torches, windchimes, and indoor palms and.... voila! _

Preening with pride, I admired my creation, listening to the musical rush of the ocean as a warm breeze wafted in from the deck, the various windchimes adding a light chorus to the moment. _I think I've died and gone to heaven...._

Wanting to try out the stereo system, I rummaged through a pile of CDs that I had written into existence and grinned as I placed the 'Evanescence' cd into the player, cranking the volume all the way up as the opening music to '_Bring Me to Life_' blared throughout the bar. I think the walls were trembling. Not that I cared. No, I was too busy leaping onto the top of the bar and cackling in insane hysterical joy to notice much of anything.

It would figure that that would be the time for my Muses to find me.

"My Gods, she really _is_ insane!"

"Well, _duh!_"

The sound of the voices made me pause in my laughing to look towards the entrance, and I immediately squealed in happiness as I flung myself into the air and landed amongst the group of Muses and a Character. "Blackie-chan! Kang-chan! Tvashtar-chan!"

Blackwargreymon arched an eyeridge at the others as I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung like a koala. "Gee, think she's glad to see us?"

"Y'know, I'm not sure." Grinning, Tvashtar grabbed me around my waist and pulled me away from Blackie, hugging me to him as he gave me a gentle peck on my cheek. 

While in the fics he played the part of my self-inserted-character's 'brother', outside of the fics, we were simply close friends. Very close friends. There could be nothing more, of course. Muses and Characters weren't allowed to be anything but friends with their Authors. It was against the Laws of Fanficdom or something along those lines.

Not that the lot of us cared. Telca certainly didn't. She and Remy had been dating for months now.

As soon as Tvashtar let me go, I turned my attention to matters at hand. "Guys, I swear, I didn't know about--"

Kang cut me off with a soft rumble that was barely heard over the beat of the music. "We know. We figured you wouldn't leave things like that on purpose. But look at this! You've certainly outdone yourself!"

"Isn't it kewl? And there's over two dozen or so huts behind the Villa. Running water and all, so that you each have your own rooms. I can always write up more if I need to."

"You'll need to," Black grinned at me. "Everyone's coming."

I deadpanned. "Everyone? As in, every Muse and Character that I've ever had contact with or written about?" When he nodded, I sent a sidelong glance over at the bar, where I had left my notebook and pen. "I'm gonna run out of paper...."

"You're gonna run out of room, too," Tvashtar noted. "Draco's not going to be able to fit in here."

"Took care of that already," I answered with a dismissive wave of my hand. "The Villa will alter it's size to accommodate everyone. Read about it in a fic once, thought it was a good idea. It's some sort of dimensional subspace thingy."

"'Dimensional subspace thingy'? Gee, Lashana, I didn't know you could be so technical. You're staring to sound like Mikey."

I smirked playfully and looked over at my four newest Muses, my gaze falling on the one that had spoken. "Shaddup, Donnie. I prefer not to melt people's minds by spouting stuff that would make Websters brain leak out his ears."

The Ninja Turtle in purple returned the barb with equal playfulness. "So you'd rather just turn them catatonic with nonsense?" It was a ritual now, this odd greeting of ours. I liked it.

"It's the only way to go!" I chirped, ignoring the in sync rolling of the eyes that Black, Kang and Leo were doing.

"I can think of a lot better way ta go," Raphael told me as a lazy grin spread over his lips, his right eyeridge rising suggestively.

Holding in a chuckle, I smiled at him and reached out to touch his cheek. "I know, Raph," I murmured, unable to stop my smile from turning decidedly evil as I spoke. "But unfortunately, it's not considered a threesome if it's just you and your two hands."

A shocked hit-upside-the-head-with-a-tree look flowed over his face while the rest of the group, myself included, broke into hysterical laughter. I received many congratulatory slaps on the back for that little comment, mostly because they were glad to see that I had regained something more akin to my usual mood. The last month had been hard for us all.

It was only when Raphael growled and brandished a sai threateningly that we managed to smother our laughter, and even then, the occasional snicker was heard from Michelangelo, despite the fact that he had both hands clamped over his mouth.

It was good to be home.

I spent the next half hour giving the small group the ten cent tour, unable to keep the grin from my face at the dumbstruck looks they kept giving me and the island that I had created. We gathered more people as we went, so that by the time we returned to the Villa, the group was almost twenty strong. I was glad to see that more of my original characters were here, mostly because the majority of them were women. Cassie and Alex from '_Sins of the Father'_, Shaw, Traz'lilr and Angie from '_Darkness & Light_' and Aiden, Esper, Ace, A'Janae, Talia and Kaia from '_Darkside of the Moon_'. At least this way I knew that we women could keep the numerous males in check.

However, nothing could have prepared me for what was waiting for me in the bar.

I heard the low roar of dozens of conversations from the backyard, and, urged onwards by an unhealthy amount of curiosity, I cautiously made my way towards it, freezing in the doorway at the sight that presented itself to me.

It was _packed._

Muses, Characters, hell, even some people I had only mentioned once or twice in a passing paragraph were gathered there. I recognised Kadrith behind the bar, the draconid who played Tvashtar's brother in the fics staying true to his odd nature. He was wearing his almost trademarked tight faded blue jeans along with a black leather vest, his tail swaying behind him in an almost hypnotic movement as he served drinks to the ones sitting at the bar. As he turned to grab another glass, I caught sight of the tattoo that he usually hid during the fics, the black Celtic arm-band stark against his bronze flesh. Three gold studded earrings were in his left ear, glinting dully in the lights, and I was less than pleased to see that he had dyed the tips of his hair a stark black. _Dammit, that'll never wash out before the next fic.... argh...._

I took a quick look at the people sitting at the bar, and once I recognised Venom, Wolverine, Duncan and Tasuki, I let my gaze wander away, not wanting to know what Tasuki's hand movements really meant. Mewtwo and R'Kar were at one pool table, while Nightcrawler, Erica and Kaelianna were at the arcade games. A roar of laughter to my right drew my attention to the group of Duo, Slith, Gambit and Iceman. Zelgadis and Xellos were.... well, the couple were tangled up on one of the lawnchairs out on the deck, you figure it out.

Deciding that I could stand there forever and not manage to recognise everyone present, I shrugged and strode into the room, giggling in perverse glee when everyone paused and rose their glasses to me, roaring out my name in greeting before they turned back to whatever they were doing. _Gods, it's like an insane version of 'Cheers'!_

Expertly dodging limbs, wings, tails and various other people, I made my way over to the bar and sat at the far end of it where I could survey the room with ease, grinning when Kadrith strode over to me.

"Damn, Author, this place makes the Palace look like a mini-mart!" He grinned, rows upon rows of jagged fangs glinting in the light. "You did good. 'Bout time too. So, what'll it be?"

"Root beer," I answered, swatting his hand away when he reached for me. There were times that calling him a 'slut' would be very true. "No touching of the Author."

"Hmpft. Ruin all my fun." Winking at me, he thunked a can of soda in front of me, then went to go serve the duo of Joyrock and the Demon Highlord.

Loud rumbling chuckles made me turn on my stool to grin at the three dragons that were occupying the corner of the room, close to the edge of the deck, and I wasted no time in hopping to my feet and heading over to them. Normally, one wouldn't willingly wander over to a group of dragons that rivalled the size of an eighteen wheeler, but I was special. Well, that and I knew that these three would never hurt me. "Shakarei!"

The black dragon turned at my call and grinned as I ran over to throw my arms as far around his neck as I could, eliciting amused chuckles from the other two dragons.

"And here I thought _I_ was her favourite," Draco mused as he picked up the rain barrel filled with sweet ale and rose it to his lips.

Skie snorted. "You're entirely too full of yourself."

"Besides," Shakarei added as I pulled away and lightly scratched a spot under his chin. "Creations before Muses."

"Ha! You're just jealous!"

"Am not!"

Ever seen a pair of dragons engage in the traditional game of 'who can stick their tongue out the farthest'? It's rather entertaining. I merely grinned and leaned back against Shakarei while I sipped my root beer - which I _hadn't_ spilled - and rolled my eyes as Draco smacked Skie upside the head with his tail, winning the battle. "And people call _me _insane."

"That's because you _are_," Skie grumbled good naturedly as he rose a claw to rub at his head. "When are you going to write the next chapter of the _'Q'_ fic anyway? I've been on standby for ages."

"Ano...." Embarrassed, I rose a hand and rubbed at the back of my neck, blushing slightly. "It's.... been a bad few weeks. I haven't really thought of it."

Sending a glare at Skie, Draco leaned closer and nuzzled my shoulder, purring softly. "Aw, it's okay, sweetie. We know it's been tough. No worries, okay? You write whenever you feel like writing."

"I know. Telca tells me the same thing." I sighed and leaned against the side of his head, resting my cheek against warm scales. "Reality sucks," I stated morosely, listening to the three dragon's worried rumbles as they stared at me. "It sucketh greatly."

Skie exchanged glances with Shakarei before ducking his head towards me. "If you want," he rumbled, eyes flashing a bright yellow with mischief. "I could destroy the office building you work in."

I had to smile at that. "Nice try. They'd just relocate us. Again." But I reached out to pat his snout in thanks anyway, seeing sparks of static electricity dance around my fingers when he snorted. "I'll survive."

"We have no doubt of _that_," Shakarei grinned. "It's the other people we worry about!"

"Har har, fuckin', har," I growled, half-heartedly glaring at him as I pushed away from Draco.

"Dudette! Man, this place _rocks!_"

I paled and shrank back against Draco. "Hide me," I whimpered as the Demon Highlord walked over to us. If I could get rid of him, I would. Unfortunately, the fic '_Final Battle_' that he was featured in was too important to the fic timeline to destroy. Even more unfortunate - for me - was the fact that Mr. Surfer Demon had developed a crush on me, convinced that I was his Soul Mate for life, no matter how hard my Muses and I tried to tell him otherwise.

It didn't help that alcohol usually made him grabby.

"Yo! Dudette! Hiya!" He grinned, showing yellow fangs, blood red eyes glowing with unnatural light as he waved at me where I cowered against a growling Draco, wondering what I had done to deserve this. "Come join tha party, Lash! It's tubular!"

I ought to mention that only one person can talk in surfer speak and _not_ sound stupid. Last time I checked, this idiot wasn't a Ninja Turtle by the name of Michelangelo.

"I'm fine," I called, not daring to move away from the dragon who had safely enclosed me in the circle of his forelegs. "Thanks anyway!" _When Telca finds out about this I'll never live it down...._

"Aww, are ya sure, chicky? I thought we could have some fun. Y'know, sing a lil' song, do a lil' dance," he paused and his grin turned rather perverted. "Get _down_ tonight?"

My stomach heaved.

Luckily, before I could introduce everyone to my supper, Shakarei roared and lashed out with a claw, sending El Highlord sprawling through the air. Skie's lightning blast and Draco's fireball sent him into orbit.

The other people in the room all paused, sent glares in the airborne Demon's way, then went back to whatever they were doing.

"I have this sudden urge to scrub my scales with bleach and steel wool," the black dragon muttered as he wiped his claw on the floor, then on Skie, who smacked him.

"Hey! Be happy! At least he's not making passes at _you!_" I retorted with a grimace. "And drinking makes him grabby."

The three dragons, and various people within earshot, shuddered.

Skie tapped me on the shoulder and nodded in the direction of the deck. "And speaking of 'grabby'...."

I did the stupid thing and looked. "_Ugh!_ Xellos! Zelgadis! _Put your clothes back on!_"

A blue haired head and a purple haired head popped over the top of the lawn chair, staring over at me with big eyes. "Awww, but Lashaaaanaaaa!"

I pushed away from Draco and glared. "_Now_." I don't know _how_ they turned into a couple, and quite frankly I didn't really mind as long as they didn't do the nasty in the middle of a crowded room. Xellos was still Xellos. Annoying, perverted and Mazoku. Zelgadis however.... _Maybe that one-third Mazoku part of him is drawn to Xellos.... either that or Xellos brought it out, because ever since they've been together, Zel has certainly.... um.... 'mellowed'._

Draco nudged me. "Want me to burn that chair?"

Hell yes. "Please. I'm gonna go.... uh...." I looked at the full room and blinked. "In the general direction of the bar. I need another root beer." I left them to take care of destroying the chair that had been in contact with a semi-nekkid Xellos and started making my way through the crowd. Three minutes later I realised that it was a lost cause, so I chose a random table and sat down, returning the blinks that were now being sent my way. "Oh thank the gods, other women. The testosterone in this place is starting to overwhelm me."

Cassie snickered and passed me a Smirnoff Ice. "Tell me about it! We're fairly having to beat them off with a stick."

A feline rumble of laughter came from a grinning Esper, whose fangs glinted dangerously. "Don't tell me that you do not enjoy the treatment, chica! I saw the look in your eyes when Duncan walked by!"

"Y'know," Ace mused, leaning forward to try to keep the conversation a little private. "I think we should be running this place."

"I was actually thinking of that," I grinned. "Think you and Cassie here could handle the bar with Kadrith? Esper, you wanna help keep the peace?"

"What about us?" Alex asked, drawing my gaze to her, Aiden, A'Janae, Kaia and Talia. 

"Ummm....." I glanced at Cassie. "What do you think?"

"Well, we can recruit some of the guys for Waiters and Cooks, especially the ones who cause trouble. It can be like a punishment--"

"Which it _is._" Talia muttered.

"Right. Well, I could probably use Aiden at the bar.... but other than that....."

"Kewl!" Kaia grinned, doing a high-five with Talia as the two lunged to their feet. "We're free agents! I call the pool table! C'mon Alex!"

A'Janae watched them go with a small smile. "Figures."

"Ah, let 'em go," Aiden grinned as she leaned back in her chair and propped her booted feet up on the seat that Talia had just vacated. "They should get some time to have fun. Besides, anyone watched '_Coyote Ugly' _lately?"

If Aiden's grin was evil, then Ace's was Satanic. "I get to throw buckets of ice water at the rowdy people! I call, I call! Shotgun!"

Cassie, Esper and I rolled our eyes, and I had to laugh at the demented look on Ace's face as she grinned. "Well, at least things won't be boring around here," I admitted, turning to Cassie when she snorted.

"Did you actually _expect_ it to be?"

I grinned. "Not really. It just, y'know, feels good to say it."

"Ah."

A'Janae touched my elbow to get my attention. "Hey, can I ask you something about the fic?" When I nodded, she frowned. "Are you going to turn me into the bad guy?"

"Well, I was considering having a twist in the story. The friction between you and the rest of the group _is_ there, it'd be rather easy to turn you into a double agent or have you switch sides. I've also considered having you be the one to save the day, or someone's life, like Esper or Raph. Y'know as a big kick to the head to them. But honestly, A'Janae, I don't know yet. You'll just have to wait and see. I am planning on giving you at least half a chapter to yourself in the near future, just before the first fight with Moira.... speaking of which, shouldn't she be here too?"

Aiden blinked and looked around. "You mean she isn't?"

"Haven't seen her."

Ace stood up, giving her a better view of the room. "There she is! She's out on the deck talking with Beast."

I smiled at that. Despite the fact that Moira played the part of a insane serial killer in the fics, she was actually a very nice person, and very intelligent. She and Beast had immediately hit it off when I had brought her and the other girls from that fic in. It was kind of cute.

Suddenly caught up in the moment, I grabbed my bottle of Smirnoff Ice and vaulted up to stand on the table, hearing Cassie and Ace scream for everyone to shut up as I rose my drink in a victorious toast and shouted : "_Welcome to the Line Between Reality and Fantasy!!_"

The answering roar of cheers must have been heard for miles.


	2. Telca joins the Insanity

Lashana and Telca own only themselves, Tvashtar, Shakarei, Kadrith and.... well, the list is too long for this fic....

The Line Between Reality and Fantasy

Chapter 2 - Telca joins the Insanity

"O-oi! Lashana!"

I turned away from the bar at the call, climbing up onto one of the bar stools to peer up over the heads of everyone in the bar, blinking when I saw Inuyasha waving at me. Curious, I turned to Cassie, Kadrith and Aiden who were manning the bar and smirked. "Hold the fort. And don't give the Highlord any more drinks, I don't wanna have to put up with his grabbiness more than I have to."

"No problemo, Lash!" Kadrith grinned, waving to me playfully as he tossed a bottle into the air and then caught it again, showing off for everyone to see as he poured drinks for Tasuki and Valgarv.

Deciding to ignore the brutal slashing of my name, I shoved my way through the crowd, ducking wings and tails and airborne food with practiced ease until I finally reached the entrance of the bar, smiling a little as I met Inuyasha's gorgeous amber gaze. "Hey, what's up?"

"What," he smirked, fangs peeking out from between his lips. "No dog cookies for me today? No 'Beggin' Strips'?"

I winced at that and glanced away, fighting tears. "Logan died," I whispered, referring to the much loved Alaskan Malamute that had passed away a few weeks ago. A dog that had been a huge part of my family, and that had died too soon and too young. I hadn't told the Muses and Characters yet, either. It was still hard to talk about it.

His attempt at starting a battle of sarcasm fizzled. "Oh. Well, shit, why didn't you tell us?" When I merely shrugged, he sighed and shuffled nervously, obviously not liking the tension. "Um.... Xellos is doin' something in the kitchen."

Right. "Okay. I'll take care of it." Sighing, I stepped around him and headed for the kitchen, hugging myself as I headed down the hallway that would inevitably lead me to the kitchen and whatever horror Xellos was cooking up this time. I really didn't feel up to doing anything, least of all deal with Xellos, but for the greater good I figured that _someone_ should stop the Mazoku, and I knew damned well that no one else was going to volunteer for this little mission.

Just as I reached the kitchen, Eddie Brock, R'kar and Michelangelo bolted past me, their expressions horrified as they ran, leaving a cloud of dust behind them. Legolas shot past me seconds later, and fortunately I managed to shoot an arm out to get Gimli into a headlock, ignoring the Elf's annoyed yell as he turned to discover that his dwarf had been captured.

"Alright, what's going on?" I frowned, glaring down at Gimli as I shifted my hold on him and spun him around to face me. "Talk fast before your boyfriend shoots an arrow through me."

"It's the demon, lassie! He's gone killed someone! He be shoving their remains inta that odd 'garbage disposal' sorcery thing!"

"He's doing _WHAT?!_" Dropping the dwarf, I squared my shoulders, pushed the sleeves of my long sleeved black hooded top up to my elbows and angrily stalked into the kitchen. "_XELLOS METALLIUM!!! _What have you _done?!_" My yell echoed throughout the Villa, and I imagined that I heard a low 'eep!' from the direction of the bar before I stepped into pure mayhem. "_Oh dear gods!_"

My voice must have hit a certain pitch that just screamed 'help I'm in over my head' because the next thing I knew four males were by my sides, all bristling and ready to maim. I would have been flattered had I not been ready to hurl.

Smiling, the Trickster turned away from the form he was shoving into the garbage disposal, his usual dark cloak replaced by a pink frilled apron. "Konnichiwa, Lashana-chan!" he grinned with dark cheer, nodding to the skull that was placed on the counter near him. "I think I'll keep it. I named it, Fred!"

That smile was more than enough to make me seek someone's arms to hide in. The blood that was coating the floor, the walls and a great part of the ceiling, as well as the Mazoku, only helped give more reason to my cowardice. Hence the face that I had just flung myself into the safety of Brooklyn's arms, one of the seven Gargoyles who were regulars at the Villa. "He's tasted manflesh! We'll never be safe ever again!"

Scowling at my rising hysteria, Raphael glared into the kitchen and eyed the carnage. "Who the hell'd he knock off?"

"Why don't you go look?" Tasuki smirked, grinning toothily at the glare that had been turned on him by the Ninja Turtle.

"It doesn't _look _human," Brooklyn hedged as he wrapped me up into his wings, his sharp gaze fixed on the gruesome image in the kitchen.

"How can you tell?!" I shouted. "Half of whatever-it-is is decorating the walls!"

"And the ceiling!" Xellos chirped in cheerfully as he put more force behind what he was feeding into the disposal system. "I'll clean up after, Lashana-chan! I'm just finishing off a bit of work for Juouu-sama!"

"Juouu...." Tvashtar trailed off in a new sort of horror and warily looked over at the Mazoku. "T-the Beastmaster is here too?! Lashana--!"

"I didn't write her in! Honest!" I protested, wincing as the blades of the disposal hit a certain tooth hurting pitch. "Anybody got a pen?"

Kenshin obediently held out a Bic pen which I quickly snatched, moving out of Brooklyn's arms as I did so. "Sorry, Tasuki, it's for the greater good."

"Wha- hey! What are you _doing?!_" Fangs bared, he tried to shake me off, then growled in defeat as I finished relieving him of his black long jacket, keeping hold of his white shirt that he wore under it, forcing him to slouch down so I could write across his back. "You owe me a new shirt! Ow! Don't press so hard! That's a fine tip!"

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled, continuing to scribble my alterations across his back, chuckling darkly when a yelp sounded from the kitchen. "Oh.... I _love_ being able to do this! Tasuki! Baka! Stop wriggling!"

As I tried to keep the bishonen still, Brooklyn carefully edged his way into the now clean kitchen, being careful to keep himself hidden behind the edge of counter in case Xellos were to spring a trap as he poked his beak around a shelf and blinked at the sight that presented itself to him. Xellos had fallen to his knees, his hands clutching the sides of his head as the three TVs that I had written up all displayed portions of a Barney show, the loud volume barely muffling the Mazoku's whimpers of disgust as he tried vainly to crawl out of the kitchen.

"Someone go check the garbage disposal," I ordered as I went into the danger zone and grabbed the Mazoku's collar, dragging him out of the room while Raphael headed for one of the sinks, pausing to turn off the TVs as he went. "Alright you," frowning, I pushed Xellos to the floor just outside of the kitchen and folded my arms over my chest. "Who exactly just became intimate with the garbage disposal?"

The Mazoku shuddered and cracked one amethyst eye open to look at me pitifully. "S-sore wa...." He trailed off at the dark look that flitted across my face, then rethought his previous answer. "Phibrizzo."

I think my heart skipped three beats. "Phibrizzo?! The _Hellmaster's _remains are in my garbage disposal?!?!" My voice hit a new level of panic, and whatever the expression on my face was, it made Tvashtar grab my shoulders and pull me back towards him, one of his arms settling across my upper chest as he held me close. "You're going to get us all killed!!"

"The motor's shot to shit. No way that thing'll ever run again" Raphael reported as he rejoined us, blinking when he saw our shocked faces. "What?"

If it was possible, I paled even more. "I'm going to be sick," I moaned, turning to hide my face against Tvashtar's bare chest. "Phibrizzo is in my garbage disposal."

"Xellos!" A blur of blue and white shot past us with demonic speed before it came to a stop next to the Mazoku, and Zelgadis frowned as he brushed Xellos' hair from his face. "Xel? Dammit, what the hell happened?!"

"He, uh...." At a loss for words, Brooklyn jerked his thumb towards the sink. "Phibrizzo's in the garbage disposal."

The chimera paused for a moment, then glared at Xellos. "You promised me you wouldn't bring your work home with you any more!"

"You mean he's done this _before?!_" I shrieked, eyes wide in horror with the thought that certain Dark Lords would resurrect themselves and would take offence to being shoved into a garbage disposal and come after Xellos and the one that was sheltering the Mazoku. Mainly me. Thus I thought my reaction of grabbing the chimera by his shoulders and shaking him violently was a rather tame one, considering my state of mind. "When did he do this before!? Oh goddess, who else has he 'disposed' of?!"

Zelgadis actually looked like he was sharing at least a little of my panic. "Um... A few of Shanbrigido's underlings, a warlock...." He trailed off as all the colour faded from my face and swallowed thickly. "Y-you think that it'll cause trouble?"

"Cause trouble?!" I repeated incredibly. "Cause trouble?! Are you daft?! Of _course_ I think it'll cause trouble! If Xellos can get to others that aren't in this little pocket dimension what makes you think that _they_ can't get to _us?!_"

"Ut." 

I turned at the badly muffled sound and blinked at the movieverse version of Peter Parker, aka Spiderman, not liking the expression on his face. "What?"

"Um.... not to make things worse but.... well, I think there's something you should see."

I sighed heavily and debated beating my head off the wall like a crazed animal. "But of course there is," I muttered sourly, throwing my hands up into the air in sheer exasperation as I spun to face him fully. "Alright, someone get Xellos off the floor and keep him away from the kitchen. No one is to touch the garbage disposal until I fix it. And someone go tell the rest of the gang what's happened and what - or who - to look out for. Okay, Peter, lead the way." _And the Muses said that this place was relaxing! Ha!_

Storing the precious Bic pen in my jeans pocket, I curiously followed Spiderman, wondering what had happened _now._ The answer was a lot more of a shock than I had been ready for, and I was dimly aware of Brooklyn moving to my side as I stood and stared.

Gambit was sitting on a pool chair near the pool, his hair ruffled and unkempt, a five o'clock shadow of stubble on his face as he slouched over and stared down at a small picture he held in his hands, his red on black eyes never leaving the piece of paper he held. I didn't have to guess who's picture that was. Remy LeBeau, the suave, debonair, ladie's man, was completely head over heels lovestruck with my best-friend.

"Damn," I whispered, raising my right hand to massage the growing pain in my temple.

"Does he miss her _that much?_" Brooklyn murmured to me, peering at the Cajun curiously. "I didn't know they were _that_ tight."

"You learn something new every day," Spidey said wryly, grinning at the smirk that the Gargoyle gave him. "So? What's the plan, Writer?"

"I.... need a drink," I decided, still clutching my head as I turned and headed back to the bar, greatly in need of more caffeine and some painkillers. Brooklyn and Peter followed me back, the Gargoyle being kind enough to clear a sort of path through the crowd for me while Spiderman merely web-slinged over the chaos. Kadrith already had a root beer ready for me by the time I got there, and I gave him a weak smile as I sat down on one of the stools and accepted the bottle of Tylenol that Cassie tossed at me.

"So? What's the plan?"

I sighed and looked over at Brooklyn, who was sitting next to me nursing a mug of ale. "The plan? I don't have a plan yet. First off, I can't get to Telca's without a Muse to bring me, and it'll take a while for me to bully someone into bringing me. Then I'll have to convince Telca that I'm _not_ insane and then convince her to come with me - which will _not_ be easy considering that it's...." I looked at my watch. "Ten o'clock at night back in Reality. ....And I don't even want to begin to imagine the insanity that'll happen when she sees all the people here."

"Well.... what would it take to convince her? I take it that we're doing this as a dual surprise for both her and Remy?" When I nodded, he rose a hand and tapped a talon against his beak. "Who's some of her favourites? Maybe we could round up a few of them."

I took a drink of my root beer, downing two Tylenol as I did so. "There's Legolas, but after the Xellos kitchen fiasco, I don't have any hopes of finding either him or Gimli. There's Beast, but he's down at the beach with the rest of the X-Men, which also rules out Wolverine and Iceman. Nightcrawler is just one that she likes, he's too young for us to drool over." I rose a hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. "Gods.... who the hell could I...." I let my voice trail off as I rose my head from my fist, a decidedly evil grin spreading over my lips. "Goliath!"

Brooklyn winced. "You can't be serious."

"The hell I'm not!" I cried as I jumped up onto the bar and looked around. "_Tvashtar!_"

"Yes?"

"Ack!" I spun at the very close response and toppled off the bar to land on Brooklyn, who smirked at me in amusement from my new position in his arms. "Oh shut up," I grumbled as I removed myself from him and looked at Tvashtar. "You up for a trip? I need someone to bring me back to Reality."

He shrugged, then smiled. "I'll bring you, no problem. But you're scheming something, aren't you? What is it?"

I grinned and playfully pushed past him. "Sore wa himitsu desu!" I teased as I slipped behind the bar and snapped my fingers to get Kadrith's attention. He _still_ had those damned black tips on his hair, and I huffed inwardly, not liking being forced to leave someone out of the fics. "Hey. You seen Goliath?"

"Goliath?" The draconid scratched the back of his neck, brow furrowing in thought. "Big purple dude, right?"

"Lavender, actually."

"Lavender. Purple. It's the same damned thing," he retorted with a smirk, turning to look out into the crowd. "Umm... yeah. There. He's out on the deck."

I followed his pointing finger and nodded upon seeing the large gargoyle. "I see 'im. Thanks, hun." Grinning, I wove my way through the crowd, dimly aware that Brooklyn and Tvashtar were right behind me as I approached the deck, waving to Draco and Shakarei as I did so. "Heylaaa! Goliath! I need a favour! It's really important!" As he turned towards me curiously, I grabbed Tvashtar's arm and whispered to him. "Teleport us to Telca's livingroom! Don't fight me, just do it!" Not releasing him, I smiled at Goliath and quickly grabbed his right wrist. "Tvashtar! Go!"

Once again, the world around me lurched and bottomed out, and it was only by clinging to one of the two forms close to me that I kept myself from passing out, my mind and equilibrium shot to hell as the blackness around us suddenly receded with the speed of hurricane winds, new forces of gravity throwing us into a new dimension with enough strength that I could only fold under it. 

The one that I was clinging to automatically caught me, saving me from beaning myself senseless on Telca's coffee table, and I moaned thinly as I rose a shaking hand to my temple. _There has **got** to be an easier way to do that...._

"'Shana? Lashana, are you okay?" 

The low whisper made me crack an eye open to look at Tvashtar where he was leaning over me, and I blinked dazedly as I slowly became aware that I was being held in Goliath's arms. "Oooh my gods.... am I dead?"

"No," the gargoyle rumbled, his voice at once a thunders roar and a knee melting caress. "Though I would like to know what is going on."

"Mrmpht...." Still groggy, I motioned for Goliath to put me down, thanking him when he did so gently. "This is Telca's place. I need you to be here as proof that the Villa exists so I can get her to go there. It's kinda a surprise for both her and Remy. He's not doing so good without her."

"This.... is Telca's home?" Curious, he turned and surveyed the livingroom, noting the numerous books, music cds, movies, the large tv and, of course, the computer and desk lined with disks and cds. "I can see how you two consider yourselves sisters," he rumbled, nudging an empty bag of bite-sized chocolate bars with the tip of his tail as he caped his wings around himself. "Alright. I'll help you."

I grinned at him and staggered my way around a bag of books, a recent foraging that Telca and I had done at a Book Sale, cursing softly when I tripped on the chair at the computer desk and cracked my head on the edge of said desk. "Ow, shit."

"Shh!" Tvashtar hissed, glaring at me. 

"You 'shh'!" I hissed back, one of my eyes twitching as I clutched at the new dent in my skull. "My head fuckin' hurts!" Just as I finished my complaint, I heard an equally annoyed muffled curse from the direction of my best-friend's bedroom, and I inwardly thwacked myself as I straightened at exactly the right moment for a hardcover Diana Gablodon book to knock me down once again. 

Telca came at me then, shrieking and wielding what looked like a metal curtain rod, and I barely managed to scramble out of the way of the wildly waving instrument of more pain, responding to the shriek with a scream of my own as said improvised weapon hit the floor mere inches from my left leg. "Telca!! _Telca!_ It's _me!!_" Another scream left me as I leapt to my feet and threw myself into the protection of Tvashtar's arms, cringing as gold and black wings enveloped me in a safe haven as we were all blinded by the apartment's lights, a low growl coming from Goliath as Telca's voice came in a sharp yelp of shock. 

"_Lashana?!_"

Wary, I peeked out from behind Tvashtar's wings and blinked at Telca for a moment before glaring. "You bloody psycho! That book frickin' hurt! You damn near hit me with that pole thing too!"

"It's past ten thirty at night! What the hell are you _doing _here?! And who...." I saw her eyes widen in slow understanding as her anger gave way to coherency, letting her mind identify the gargoyle that had taken her improvised weapon from her. "Oh. Oh. My. _God._ Y-you're.... you're, Goliath! _Ohmigod!_"

Goliath took a shocked step backwards as the burgundy haired woman threw herself at him, her arms locking around his neck as she hugged him, squealing in overwhelmed joy. "Telca. Control yourself. Please."

I took pity on him and gently poked at the wings wrapped around me, stepping away from the draconid after he had given me a quick reassuring hug. "Telca. Telca! Yo, are you coherent yet?"

"Huh? Oh, right." Still grinning, she released Goliath and took a moment to tug at her rumpled shorts and t-shirt, the same sort of pyjamas that I wore. "How did you get in there anyway? And who.... wait. Is that.... _Tvashtar?!_"

The draconid gave her a toothy grin and mock bowed at her. "Hi there."

"Sweet. Flamin'. Crap. How the _hell_...."

I smiled at her. "Last week, one of my Muses came and brought me to a.... well, at the time it was nothing. Like that scene in 'The Never-ending Story'. Turns out that our Characters and Muses all stay in.... it's like their own little pocket dimension. It's where they go when we're not writing. And we, as Authors, are able to change that dimension."

"Characters and Muses? What's the diff?"

"Muses can come and go as we please," Tvashtar answered smugly. "Characters can only leave when a story is being written about them. That's how we got in, I just teleported us here. Though, it does seem to have bad effects on Authors."

"Think about that carnival ride that goes fifteen stories into the air and then rushes back towards the ground at Mach ten and you get a slight idea of what it feels like," I grimaced, seeing Telca quirk an eyebrow curiously. "Either way, it doesn't matter. We're here to bring you to out little niche away from Reality."

"The niche that you altered?"

"Yup. Think.... Hawaii meets Bora Bora."

"Hot damn!" A near psychotic grin spread over her lips as she ran into her bedroom and changed into boots, jeans and a clean t-shirt faster than I thought possible, then raced back and latched onto Goliath again, ignoring his long suffering sight as she hopped up and down excitedly. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

I mirrored her grin and wove my arm around Tvashtar's left arm. "You heard her. Yoinks and away."

Telca laughed and echoed our little in-joke at exactly the same moment that Tvashtar teleported us from her apartment. "Yoinks and away!!"

The world spun around us again, and I heard Telca's curse as the effects of it took hold on her. I had already collapsed against Tvashtar, having still been suffering from the earlier teleport. I discovered that going limp and trying very hard not to throw up was the best way to survive the teleport, although by the sound of Telca's groan, I guessed that she hadn't copied my shot of genius.

We appeared on the front walkway of the Villa, and I blearily opened an eye to look over at Telca, who was cradled in Goliath's arms and visibly restraining herself from hurling what little supper she had eaten. Satisfied that she was still alive, I leaned heavily against Tvashtar, feeling his arms tighten around me as he cradled me closer to himself, knowing that it took me a while to recover.

Telca got her bearings back quicker than I did, and it wasn't until I heard her surprised cry that I rose my head from Tvashtar's shoulder and blinked at her curiously, discovering that she was staring at the Villa in a mix between extreme joy and mind-numbing shock. Smiling, I gingerly climbed out of the draconids arms, giving him a thankful hug before I pulled away completely and looked at Telca. "You gonna let go of Goliath so I can give you a tour of the island?"

She blinked and looked at the gargoyle, hesitating a moment before reluctantly removing her arms from around his neck. "I hope you know that I won't be able to walk straight for a while. That little trip was horrible."

"Yeah. I know. Thankfully, we have a ride." Cupping my hands around my mouth, I took a breath and hollered in the direction of the beach. "_ATTACK BEAST!!!!_"

Goliath grimaced and rubbed at his head. "Must you be so loud?" At the dreamy look that Telca got, he cocked his head at her and frowned. "What is that look for?"

"Your voice," she sighed happily. "I love it."

He actually blushed at that, looking rather uncomfortable until the low rumble of a powerful engine drew his attention to the Ford 150 truck that drove up to the bottom steps of the front walkway, sitting there impatiently. "Enjoy your tour, Telca."

"I'll be damned," Tvashtar muttered in awe as the gargoyle headed into the Villa. "You made him blush."

"She's good at doing that to people," I grinned. "Go annoy Kadrith for me. We'll be back soon enough."

"Yeah, okay," he smiled. "You two have fun. And don't take long, okay?"

"Nope. No worries. C'mon Telca. Sun's wasting!" Grinning, I grabbed her arm and pulled her after me as I walked down the few stairs, heading down the walkway until I could rest a hand on the hood of the truck. Telca was paying no attention to what I was doing, she was busy gaping at the island vegetation and the terra cotta walkway we had just stepped off of, her gaze trying to take in everything all at once as she turned to stare at the clear blue ocean nearby. "Heyla. Can you give us a ride around the island?"

"No prob!" Attack Beast replied, a grin in his voice. "I've got a full tank of gas, I could give you two the grand tour all day long."

"Just one tour would be good," I chuckled, gesturing for Telca to get into the passenger seat and then muffling a snicker when she merely continued to stare at her surroundings. Knowing how much of a shock this must be - after all, I had basically created our dream home - I opened the door for her and gently ushered her inside, letting Beast close his door for me as I moved around to the driver's side. "We may have to do stops when she spots some of the Bishonen."

"I guessed that already," the AI chuckled, flicking the door closed behind me as seatbelts slid around Telca and I of their own accord. "Where to?"

"Anywhere. But let's stop off at the main huts last, kay?"

"Big finale?" he mused curiously.

"Kinda," I smiled as I rested my hands on the steering wheel and waited for him to start his engine before I drove out onto the beach, patting the steering wheel in thanks when Beast opened all his windows, letting the moisture laden sea breeze pour into the cab of the truck.

Halfway down the beach, Telca turned to me and frowned. "Tell me everything. Who's here? What else did you make up? Can we alter this place? Are we the only Authors here? Do I have Muses? Where are they? Do we have places to stay here or do we have to always hop back and fourth between dimensions?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I laughed, grinning at her. "Don't worry, I'll explain everything. Beast, bring up a scan of the island, will you?" The built in computer screen on the dashboard shimmered for a moment before an image of the island appeared on it. "Okay, we're here. We're heading for the main swimming and surfing area. Over here are the docks for the boats, and that's the best place to do some fishing. Over here is one of the main paths that lead into the jungle on the island, though it is possible to go off the beaten path, if you want. And here and here are the main areas where the huts for the main residents, except for you and I, we have our own special places.... out here, and here. They're extravagant huts built up on structured supports, so that no matter where we look, there's always ocean."

"I've died and gone to heaven," she whispered, eyes wide.

"Heads up," Beast interrupted as he took over the task of driving, making me release the steering wheel as it turned of its own accord. "We've got company up ahead. Damn, anyone order some Star Trek characters?"

"Star Trek?" Perking up, Telca unbuckled herself and leaned out her window, her hair blowing in the winds behind her as she peered at the forms up ahead. "I see..... Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Will Riker, Deanna Troi, Worf, Jadzia Dax, ugh.... Quark.... Eee! It's Julian Bashir and theres Garak! Stop! Stop, stop, stop!!"

I lurched forward as Beast obeyed the cry, feeling the seatbelt try to become one with my ribcage from the intensity of the stop. Telca didn't even feel it. The second Beast slowed, she was out of the truck and bolting for the shoreline, leaving me to fight my way free of the blasted seatbelt and scramble out of the truck, tearing after her.

By the time I reached her she had already frightened away the Bajoran Dabo girl that Julian had been with and was well on her way to convincing both him and Garak that they belonged together. At this point I figured that I would life longer if I didn't interfere, so I merely stood to one side, watching Telca as she spoke to the two males, and I couldn't quite stop a smirk from showing as I folded my arms across my chest and watched the proceedings. Laughter caught my attention moments later, and I arched a white eyebrow in amusement as I looked over to discover that Worf had been forced into skinny dipping by Jadzia, and my gaze automatically shot to the small neatly folded pile of uniform that was nearby. _I feel the urge to be evil coming 'round....._

By the time Telca was finished with the new couple - even if they were a little confused - I had already decided what I was going to do. All I needed was a little help. I crept over to Telca and whispered my plan in her ear, seeing a rather psychotic grin spread over her lips as she listened, then nodded in agreement.

Jadzia laughed softly at the uncomfortable look of her future husband and swam out a little deeper, coaxing him to follow her with a few low growls meant to entice him.Just as Worf came to her side, his dark eyes flashing with love and promise that he only shared with her, twin cackles from shore became like a bucket of ice on their rising passions. His irritated growl muffled her huff of annoyance, and they turned to look at the shore together, both of their gazes flickering from the missing pile of Worf's clothing to the two women who were running away with them. The burgundy haired one had his pants on her head like a hat, while the white haired one had his jacket uniform on, the top so large on her that she was flapping her arms as if she was a sort of flying bird trying to take flight. Both of them were cackling like madwomen.

"It cometh from the sea!!" I yelled to Telca, catching a glimpse of Worf as he sloshed out of the water and started to run after us.

Telca shot a glance behind us, and her eyes widened at the sight. "_Damn._ Jadzia must be very.... uuuhhh...."

"Flexible?" I suggested.

"Yeah. Amongst other things," she grinned, chuckling as she sped up, running past Will Riker and leap frogging over Quark, who screamed in horror when he dropped some odd looking statue. "Gangway!"

"Ack!" Fighting to keep my balance on the loose sand, I scampered around Riker then tripped when trying to jump over Quark as he bent to pick up his statue thingy. I slammed into the ground face first, cursing as I rose my head to spit out sand only to have Quark land on me seconds later, reuniting my face with the sand. I lay there for a moment, hoping that the Ferengi would get off by himself, but when my lungs started screaming for air I took the initiative and managed to throw him aside, sitting up with a curse and a growl as I shook sand out of my hair.

Realising that I had lost precious running time, I scrambled to my feet and darted after Telca, swerving when a loud roar of anger came from behind me, proof that Worf had taken my momentary incapacity to lessen the distance between us. Not really wanting to fight a crazed Klingon, I headed towards the small crowd that had gathered, glancing back to discover that Worf was now angrily beating the sand with a fist, obviously unwilling to join the crowd as I had done.

Telca looked at me as I skidded to a stop beside her, out of breath, covered with sand but still chuckling like a crazy woman. We shared a look before turning to stare over at the chaos we had wrought, snickering as we studied a naked Worf beating his fists on the sands with frustration. Truthfully, we half expected him to start beating his head off the ground and start howling like a wounded animal. 

Of course, all this didn't go over well with the others, mainly Picard and Riker, Deanna Troi seemed to enjoy the sight now presented to her, thought she did take care not to look directly at us. I figured that out current frame of minds probably freaked her out a little. Too bad Picard wasn't half Betazoid, maybe he could have avoided the danger that he walked into.

"What is going on? Would you two are to explain _why_ you've stolen a Commander's uniform?"

Telca and I exchanged another glance before she shrugged and looked at the Captain. "Truthfully? It was funny." When he looked less than impressed, she stuck her tongue out at him and blew him a raspberry. "Grow a sense of humour, Jean-Luc." She turned to look at me as I wrapped my new Starfleet uniform jacket around myself and rolled her eyes. "You look ridiculous."

"As if you're one to talk," I snorted, gesturing to the pants she was wearing on her head.

"Huh? Oh. Right." She looked around and spotted a rather annoyed Jadzia walking over to them. "Time to motor! Beast! Pedal to the metal!"

There was a revving of a motor before the black truck came to a stop next to us, and I waved at the gathered people as I ran around his hood and slid into the drivers seat. "Ciao, babes! I'll send Xellos down later! He told me he loves skinny dipping! He'll be excited to hear that you do to, Worf! Ta!"

Telca leaned out of the window as Beast drove off. "Garak! Make sure you keep hold of Julian! He's good for you!"

There was an amused chuckle from the group. "Thank you, Telca! I'll keep that in mind!"

I rolled my eyes and gunned Beast's engine, hearing his chuckle as I sped down the shoreline. If it was one thing that he loved, it was speed. The second would be demolition. 

Either way, we spent the next half hour showing Telca the rest of the island, pointing out important sites that she should know of and the main trails that lead back to the Villa in case she were to ever get lost. We finished by showing her the hut I had created for her, and after that, it took me ten minutes of whining and cajoling before I managed to get her to follow me back to the Villa.

"Through there and there are the pathways that lead to the residential huts," I was telling her as I guided her to the pool at the back of the Villa, taking a quick glance around to check if Remy was still nearby as I spoke. "And here you see our lovely pool.... and ah! There we go. Our Cajun Spice to keep this place lively." 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Telca's face go blank with shock as the one that was sitting at one of the patio tables jerked, sun bronzed shoulders bare in the hot light as he stood and stepped out from under the shadow of the umbrella, his red on black eyes wide in disbelief and surprise. 

His voice, when he spoke, was still rich and full of Cajun accent, but wavered slightly. "Chere? Petit, is dat you?"

I leaned closer to Telca and smiled. "Surprise." Straightening, I pushed the sleeves of my new jacket up, yanked the pants off her head and turned to go inside. "You two have fun. I'll be in the bar." Thus said, I turned and sauntered inside grinning like a fool as I headed for the low roar of a large crowd, following the sound to the bar and deck at the front of the Villa.

The moment I set foot in there, someone grabbed my arm and yanked me to the side. I was more than dismayed to see that it was the Demon Highlord. "Oh hell no!" I yelled when he leered at me and puckered up. Deciding that my new jacket was now expendable, I wriggled out of his hold and ran for the closest person that would more than willingly protect me, ignoring Brooklyn's bewildered questions as I launched myself into his arms and clung to him like a giant burr, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him as I gave him my best terrified look. "Help me! He's been drinking!"

"Huh? Wha..." Still confused, he looked past me to the Demon and grimaced. "Yech. I see your point! Alright, behind the bar we go." Not wasting another moment, he swept me into his arms and leapt for the bar, landing on it in a crouch and giving a startled Aiden an apologetic look. "Sorry. But Mr. Highlord's gone over his alcohol limit."

"I thought I said not to give him any more!" I yelled, glaring at the three bartenders angrily. "It'll be _hours_ before he's sober enough to recognise life-threatening threats! What the hell am I supposed to do until then?!"

Cassie shrugged. "Walk softly and carry a steel two-by-four?"

If looks could kill, my glare would have had her dead five times over before her carcass hit the floor.

Brooklyn saw the look I was giving Cassie and whistled innocently as he turned, hopped to the floor, and carried me over to a booth, setting me down on it and then moving to sit across from me, looking up when Mewtwo joined us. "Hey. Can you keep an eye on her for a bit? I'm gonna go get us some drinks." When the pokemon nodded, he winked at me and slid from his seat to head back to the bar.

~What's the matter? Your mind is more turmoiled than usual?~ Worried amethyst eyes met my gaze as I looked at him, and he frowned when I sighed and glanced away. 

"Highlord's drunk again," I muttered in annoyance, hearing his equally irritated growl as he tightened his hand around his glass of cherry Pepsi. "On a brighter note, Telca's out back with Remy, so they're gonna be happy for a long while."

~Ah. And the other thing?~ One of his knobbed fingers traced the scar on the inside of my left wrist. ~Are you alright?~

I smiled wryly and shrugged. "I'm always alright."

"Liar."

I blinked and looked up at Remy and Telca, my smile fading at the solemn look on my best-friends face. "Maybe," I admitted as they slid into the booth across from me, glancing at Mewtwo when he gave my left shoulder a squeeze before he excused himself and melded into the crowd.

"Let me see," Telca whispered, her gaze darkening when I held out my left arm, her fingers cool against my skin as she lightly traced the scar. "How are you holding up? Logan...."

"I'm okay.... considering," I answered, using my free hand to brush away tears at the thought of the death of my dog. "I'm okay." I looked up as Brooklyn rejoined us and smiled when I saw that he held a tray with four drinks on it. A root beer for me, sprite for Telca, and ale for him and Remy.

"I saw them join from the bar," he explained with a smile as he slid into the booth next to me and dealt out the drinks. "So, shall we ditch the doom and gloom and make a toast?" He held up his glass as he spoke, the tip of his tail twitching against my left ankle as he put a supportive arm around my shoulders. "To life?"

"To life, mon ami," Remy nodded as he and Telca rose their glasses. "To life, and to the ones we've lost, and to the ones who are still hanging on."

I smiled at that, meeting Telca's gaze and seeing her return the smile as I rose my glass. "Here, here."


	3. Fishing Folly

_Hey all. I realise that it's been forever and a day since I've updated. I can't predict if the muse will return in full force, or even on a constant basis. But I'll post what I can. Thanks for keeping with me. -- Lashana_

**Disclaimer:** I own Lashana, Telca, Shakarei, Tvashtar, Kadrith... aw hell, just ask me if you want to borrow anyone.

**Fishing Folly**

"Aw c'mon, Quark. Just one boat! It's not like there's a shortage! You've got six of them _right there!_"

I rolled my eyes at Duncan's attempts to 'bargain' with the Ferengi and turned away from the conversation to stare out at the ocean. It was a gorgeous day. Bright blue sky, bluer water, only a few clouds and a wonderful breeze that was just powerful enough to kick up gentle waves. I had escaped the coldness of November back in Reality for the gorgeousness of the Line Between Reality and Fantasy.

As to how I had gotten mixed up with the group of Duncan, Michaelangelo and Tasuki, I had no idea. I had just been minding my own damn business when the fools snatched me up and announced that we were going fishing. Now don't get me wrong, I like fishing. It's relaxing, and sometimes you get a free meal out of it. But getting into a boat with those three was setting off my oh-shit-sense.

Granted, if they couldn't get Quark to rent them a boat, there was a good chance that I'd be able to get back to the Mercedes Lackey book that I had cruelly been pulled away from.

I turned my attention back to the males as Michaelangelo attempted to use the 'big-eyes' treatment on the Ferengi. "C'mon, Quirky! It's not like we're asking for your life-savings!"

A snicker escaped my lips. There's nothing Quark hates more than being called 'Quirky'. The chances that I'd be able to get out of this were growing by the moment. I could almost feel the book on my fingertips.

And then Tasuki went and ruined everything by thwacking Quark in the head with his tessen and talking in a language that the Ferengi would understand. Mainly, blackmail. "Oi! Give us a boat or I'll tell Telca you're holding out on her! How pissed do you think she'll be when I tell her that you've been lying to her about not having the entire 'Rurouni Kenshin' anime series on DVD on the island? Much less her 'Gambit' comic books?"

Crud.

The next thing I know, I'm looking at a rickety old boat that looked like it got attacked by Jaws one, two, three _and _four. I really didn't want to get into that thing. But being five-foot-one has it's disadvantages, especially when a six-foot tall Highlander picks you up so that your feet can't touch the safety of the large sturdy dock and then deposits you into the boat next to a grinning Ninja Turtle who's just too happy to make sure you can't escape.

For a heartbeat, I debated throwing myself overboard before we got too far away from solid ground. It must have shown in my eyes, because Mikey slung an arm around my shoulder's and hugged me closer to him. I could have smacked the grin off his face with the tackle box.

Twenty minutes later, we were almost two kilometers away from any sort of land, and I was _really_ nervous. Now, I'm not afraid of water, or of boats. I'm a pisces. There's a reason my astrological sign is a fish. I swim like one, only without the whole breathing underwater thing. Anyway. _This_ boat was something in a class of it's own. It was an aluminum thing, with spots of rust everywhere, and the outboard motor wasn't in pristine condition. In fact, it was duct-taped to the boat.

So there I sat, worriedly clinging to my fishing rod, which, I supposed, a Great White Shark could use as a toothpick after it bit through the boat and killed us all.

Meanwhile, oblivious to my rising worry and near paranoid searching of the water for a dark shape with a fin, Mikey, Tasuki and Duncan were discussing Quark's mental abilities, or potential lack thereof. After all, everyone knew not to mess with Telca's anime orders.

Tasuki started the trend, and the other two joined it and made all the puns so much worse:

"He's a card short of a full deck."

"An olive short of a pizza."

"A few shingles short of a roof."

"He's not mental but he's certainly touched." I fell silent in horror as the last word left my lips. How in the hells did I manage to get involved in this?

Mikey took my cue and continued. "A couple of dilithium crystals short of a warp core."

"A few snowballs short of an avalanche."

"One horseman short of an apocalypse.."

Honestly, _how_ did I let these people do this to me? "The wheel's turning, but the hamster's dead."

"He's a few screams short of an orgasm." Figures that Mikey would sneak in a sex joke.

"Has a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold them together."

"Has it floored in neutral." I sent Tasuki a look for that one. Rocks in glass houses and all. Maybe he had forgotten his little 'oopsie' when I had tried to teach him to drive?

Then I realised that they were all looking at me expectantly. "A doughnut short of being a cop."

"Two tacos short of a fiesta platter."

"Only one chopstick in the chowmein."

"One Brady short of a Bunch."

Sigh. "A gene short of a full chromosome."

"One car short of a chase scene."

"A fang short of a vampire."

"A hot pepper short of an enchilada."

And that's when it hit me. "His boat's sinking faster than we can bail!"

"Yeah!" Mikey grinned, getting into the mood of things. "He's a planet short of a Federation!"

"One dimension short of reality!"

"A colour short of a rainbow!"

"HIS BOAT'S SINKING FASTER THAN WE CAN BAIL!"

Mikey blinked. "Uh, 'Shana, you said that one already."

I whacked all of them over the head with my fishing rod. "NO YOU IDIOTS! WE'RE SINKING!"

And that's when they realised that we were sitting waist deep in water, and that the boat was going down. How they didn't notice earlier is beyond me.

Naturally, panic set in. Nothing seems to freak people out more than the phrase "we're sinking", apparantly. Tasuki, thinking that we'd be alright if we made it to shallower water, yanked on the motor's starting cord, numerous curses ringing out over the water as the duct-tape tore loose, leaving us to watch as the motor headed back to shore without us.

I was spared the rest of the uncoordinated stupidity when Duncan's flailing arm knocked me out of the floating piece of driftwood that used to be a boat, and I instinctively swam away from the chaos, wanting to avoid the danger of someone falling on me and drowning me. Granted, I shouldn't have been worried, because Mikey had launched himself after me, and when we surfaced, I saw that the other two males were now clinging to the overturned boat.

Now that Mikey was laughing so hard that he ran the risk of drowning, I twisted in his arms and comtemplated the long swim back to shore before turning my attention back to Tasuki and Duncan, who had been the ones to insist that I accompany them on this horror show.

"Don't look at us like that!" Duncan yelped when he noticed that I was glaring at them. "It's not _our_ fault!"

I growled out my numerous unflattering opinions of him, gave Mikey a warning glance so he knew what I was about to do, then took in a deep breath. "_DRACO! SHAKAREI! SKIE! ANYONE WITH WINGS! **HEEEELP!**_"

"...ow." Tasuki freed a hand from the boat and stuck his pinky in his ear, wiggling it around. I was figuring that he was reaching into his head to try to prod his brain into working. "Geez, Elfy. Couldn't ya have _warned_ us before you yelled like that?"

"No!" I snarled at him and shook my wet hair out of my eyes, my mood drifting from merely pissed to just plain evil. I was already formulating my revenge when a roar from the direction of the mainland drew my attention, making me reach out to steal Tasuki's tessen fan and wave it high above my head so that the sunlight would reflect off of it, hoping that one of the three dragons that were on the shoreline would see me.

It was Shakarei that reached us first, and I couldn't help but glare at the amused look he was giving me as he hovered above our little personal re-enactment of 'Titantic'. Luckily, he knew better than to say anything. Smart dragon.

In a moment, I was safely perched on his back, clinging to midnight black scales while Mikey was dangling in the great dragon's claws. Only I was allowed on Shakarei's back, and I was emmensely smug about that honor.

Draco banked and started to circle us, and I waved to him to let him know I was alright, returning his relieved smile. It was when he started to dive to pluck Duncan and Tasuki out of the water that I finally spoke up. "Draco, no! Leave them there!"

The dragon turned golden orange eyes to me, and even Shakarei twisted his head to look back at me. "What?"

There was an echoing "_WHAT!_" from the fools in the water.

"Leave 'em!"

"But..."

"You can't leave us here!" Tasuki yelled, reaching for his tessen only to realise that I had never given him his weapon back.

Duncan actually looked worried. "Lashana! C'mon, this isn't funny!"

I smirked and peered over the expanse of black scales, meeting Michaelangelo's gaze over the curve of Shakarei's shoulder. "Do you still carry a grappling hook for emergencies?"

"Ut...yeah..."

My smirk turned into a full-fledged grin. The kind of grin that makes my Muses shudder. Apparantly it makes me look like a homicidal crazy woman. "Good." A look of wariness and amusement was warring in his brown eyes. He must have caught on to what I was thinking. "Now hook that boat for me, would you, Mikey? Hey, Draco! Wanna get Tasuki back for spiking your ale with caffiene pills? Oh! And did I mention that this bruise that is starting to form on my cheek is from Duncan when he knocked me out of the boat?"

Tasuki sunk as far down into the water as he could without drowning himself. "We're screwed."

"That was an accident!" Duncan shrieked as the grappling hook hit and caught into the hull of the boat with a heavy 'thunk'.

Draco, who now mirrored my evil grin, spread his wings wide and hovered next to Shakarei, allowing Mikey to hand him the other end of the rope, which quickly vanished into the dragon's grip. "I'm going to enjoy this."

"So Shakarei," I started cheerfully. "How long do you think it would take them to swim back to shore?"

"Oh, I don't know," he grinned. "Two, maybe three hours without breaks. And that's if they fight the current."

"Hear that guys?"

There was a low grumble.

"I can't _hear_ you!"

Tasuki responded with his opinion of his questionable doubts about my biological heritage, causing me to turn to Draco with a smile. "Gee, I don't think my mother will be very impressed when I tell her about what Tasuki said, eh?"

"Nope. Not at all," the dragon agreed as Shakarei's deep baritone laughter echoed around us. "Shall we?"

Telca frowned from where she was standing on the shoreline, one hand raised above her eyes to sheild them from the glare of the sun. "What in the worlds are they doing?" Loud screams of terror were resonating across the water as Draco shot across the horizon at full speed, zig-zagging wildly while Shakarei followed the other dragon from above, Lashana's form visible on his back. "Is that an upturned boat that Draco's pulling?"

Skie snickered, his keen eyesight letting him watch the insanity clearly. "With Duncan and Tasuki clinging to it."

There was a moment of silence before a grin spread over Telca's lips. "Damn. Didn't know men could shriek like that."


End file.
